What I Wish I Knew Before Becoming a Leader

Kumasi, Ghana

In my opening post to this series, We Develop Leaders Too Late, I asked you to think back to your first leadership role: were you prepared, or did you have to learn once the stakes were high? How did that shape the leader you became — and how you want to lead others?

I asked this because I know firsthand what it’s like to step into people leadership for the first time. I was motivated, eager, and ready to make an impact — but within a few weeks, it hit me: I lacked several key skills and, just as importantly, the mindset required to lead effectively.

These weren’t things that could be learned through osmosis, and in not having them, I wasn’t serving my small (but mighty!) team as well as I could.

To address these gaps, I systematically sought out research, advice, and practical tools to understand what was holding me back and identify strategies I could apply immediately.

Context Matters

The early months were especially destabilizing. I joined the team during a period of significant organizational change, into a complex portfolio that was both high-stakes and under-resourced. Anyone who’s worked in DEI knows the challenges: pushing forward important work with limited support, resources, or time is a constant balancing act.

These circumstances intensified the gaps I didn’t yet know how to fill — and made it clear that leadership skills and mindset can’t just be assumed to arrive with promotion.

Skill #1: Saying “No” Strategically

The first lesson required a shift in mindset: rejecting the false notion that busyness equals productivity. Learning to say 'no' strategically was essential to protect the team’s priorities and avoid spreading ourselves too thin.

Cal Newport’s Slow Productivity guided me here. I began to implement systems for intentional work, shifting from quantity to quality, resisting burnout, and modelling these practices with my team. This didn’t mean rejecting every new request — it meant creating space to evaluate priorities, asking the right clarifying questions, and transparently communicating capacity limits.

It was as much a mindset shift as a skill — recognizing that saying 'no' wisely is not weakness, but essential leadership. Practicing it helped me support my team better, focus on what truly mattered, and ultimately, work smarter as a leader.

Skill #2: Moving from Doer to Enabler

The second challenge was the reality that my role was no longer to do, but to enable. I initially resisted this shift, leading a small team on high-impact projects. I assumed that doing the work myself was the fastest path to results.

Then one of my team members asked a simple, revealing question: “Am I doing enough? Because I don’t think I’m supporting you as I should.” That conversation clarified that leadership isn’t about doing more — it’s about empowering others to succeed.

Delegation is notoriously difficult for new leaders because doing work delivers immediate, tangible feedback — dopamine hits, as Elsbeth Johnson notes in her HBR article Why Aren’t I Better at Delegating? (Sep-Oct 2025) Context-setting, coaching, and enabling don’t provide that instant gratification, but they are what create long-term team success.

Early leadership development can help new leaders navigate this transition, build delegation skills, and understand the mindset of enabling, rather than doing.

Skill #3: Prioritizing Upward Influence

Finally, there’s the myth of authority: many new managers assume that being given a team automatically grants the power to effect change. I quickly learned that real influence extends beyond direct reports. Senior leaders and cross-functional teams must be on board for progress to happen.

In my early role, my natural “positive renegade” tendencies — high personal ambition and willingness to challenge authority — weren’t enough. I had to earn trust and influence across teams and leadership, not just manage my own. Effective upward influence, network-building, and strategic relationship management are critical skills for emerging leaders, and they rarely come naturally.

Preparing Leaders Before the Stakes Are High

When I first navigated these transitions, there weren’t programs tailored to these early-stage needs. (Barring a few exceptions, there still aren't.) That’s why I now work with emerging leaders to develop these skills and the supporting mindset before they face high-stakes responsibilities.

This doesn’t eliminate all learning on the fly — trial and error are inevitable — but it removes the harsh surprises, builds confidence, and equips leaders to engage, adapt, and succeed from day one.

Emerging leaders deserve a strong foundation — and organizations benefit when they start their leadership journey prepared to lead thoughtfully, inclusively, and effectively.

If you’re interested in learning more about how I help emerging leaders through one-on-one coaching and tailored training programs, get in touch (contact@christiana-fizet.org).